The Five Reasons I Haven’t Killed my Husband

I know we’ve all been there. Being up 6 times to feed the baby, while our husbands slept beside us; having to contend with the whiskers he left in the sink when we clean the bathroom; being the only one to notice the random clutter on the floor, that he just steps over. The list goes on, the issues become less superficial, and it can feel overwhelming sometimes! So, for anyone that’s feeling this way, I have compiled a list of the five reasons I haven’t killed my husband:

He does the work I don’t want to do: I hate garbage. I hate snow shoveling. I am not handy. You can call it gender defined rolls if you want; but, I don’t want to do these things. I may be the one cleaning the floors, washing the dishes, washing the laundry, and tidying; but, while I’m doing these things, he’s the one fixing the floors, shoveling the driveway,painting, mowing, and dealing with smelly things. If I have a dream for the house, he makes it come to life! If I were to kill him, these things would not get done. I would have to pay someone to do them or move to an apartment building, and I like my house!

Our Children love him: He’s a great Dad! Even after working a 60 hour week he makes sure he spends time with the kids! He talks with them, plays with them, jokes with them, comforts them, and patiently teaches them. If I were to kill him, my kids would be sad and I would have to learn how to wrestle. I don’t want either of those things!

He is my biggest supporter: I can honestly say that I always know that my husband has my back. When I decided I wanted to go back to school, I already knew he would support me before I spoke to him about it; any time I have an idea, he listens and helps me find a way to make it happen; when he feels I’m getting stressed, he encourages me to take time for myself. I have no question of his loyalty or support! If I were to kill him, I would be alone and that would suck!

We’re Balanced: I’m anxious and he’s calm. He makes me talk at parties and I make him talk in small groups. He makes me go on adventures and I make him relax on weekend mornings. I’m logical and he’s a dreamer. If I were to kill him, everything would be out of whack. It would be the life change equivalent of when my brother unexpectedly jumped off the teeter totter when we were kids. I can still feel my stomach jump as I pummeled towards the earth and my tailbone smash as the seat bounced off the half tire that protected me from the ground. I didn’t enjoy it then, and I wouldn’t enjoy it now!

He hasn’t killed me: I know this may surprise a lot of you, but I’m not perfect! No, please hold back your arguments, I’m honestly not! Sometimes I clog the drain with my long hair when I shower, and I leave it there; I’ve been known to leave my wet towel on his side of the bed; I have even been seen using his tools in ways they weren’t meant to be used. (Did you know a cordless drill can also be used as a hammer? True fact!) The list could go on, and become less superficial, for me too!

I hope it goes without saying, that killing my husband is meant as hyperbole! The fact is that neither of us are perfect. It’s easy to lose sight of that when we’re frustrated, though. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and think about what our lives would be like without our partner, to really appreciate their value!

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