My husband worked a lot of hours last week. Like, a lot of hours. When we have weeks like that, it feels like we never see him. I worry about him. I worry about how much he’s missing, how tired he must be, if he’s eating properly, and if he’s hurting his body. He has a physically demanding job and working in excess of 60 hours isn’t easy. He does it for us, for our family, and because he takes all of his responsibilities seriously. Because of his hard work, I’m able to stay home with my kids, and eliminate the stresses that came from both of us working outside of the house. I can take the kids to appointments, cook real food, eliminate the need for housework on the weekends, and make sure homework is done. I have the luxury of being my children’s full time advocate, and I never have to stress about missing work for their sick days. When my baby wakes up 4 times in a night, I know I don’t have to worry about dragging my exhausted body to work the next day. I am grateful for how hard he works and the sacrifices he makes for the family.
On an evening when he was home, he looked at my face and explained that he was worried for me. He knew the baby had been up a lot at night, because he saw it in my eyes. He could tell I hadn’t been catching up on sleep, that I had been running around, that I had been focusing on everything else, but myself. And that’s when I realized what a blessing a true partnership is. I worry about my husband, and if he’s taking care of himself. I concentrate on how fortunate we are to have him. My husband worries about me, and if I’m taking care of myself. He concentrates on how fortunate he is to have me taking care of all the other details. It’s like a symbiotic relationship, neither one can succeed without the other.
That’s what marriage has to be. Two people relying on each other, and trusting their partner not to take them for granted. Whether both work, or one chooses to stay home, they need to know that they can count on their partner to care for them, watch out for them, support them, and help them succeed. A partner should never be made to feel that they are “fortunate” to have a supportive partner, that they are “lucky” to have a partner that is involved, or that they are “spoiled” to be cared for.
A couple is a team, just like any other! Each player on a team has a role, and that role has a job, and a responsibility to support the other players. Just like any team, the players need to meet and discuss how they’re going to get that job done, and what they need from the other players. Just like any team, there’s no room for one player to feel that they are more important, work harder, or aren’t held to the same expectations as the other players. Players have to be able to trust each other, knowing their teammates are going to be where they need to be, when they need to be there.
I’m on an amazing team! To get here, we had a lot of team meetings, practices, and we coached each other. It takes a lot of work, but there’s nothing like being on the winning team!!